Tuesday, September 2

I spent about 10 hours yesterday and Sunday afternoon getting the Defender ready for the trip, cleaning it, servicing it, installing the windows, organizing it for a one-dog trip, and loading onto it all of the off-road and emergency equipment.  Today, I will start packing the 19 or so separate bags, containers and the like on the To-Take list (see photo below). The list is built on the original one for my 2000 trip to Alaska with Sonntag, revised each year based on experience and needs.  Every time I come to an item on the list that refers to "the dogs,"  I choke up.  I decided I will leave that reference there instead of changing it to simply "Erde," to make it easier for me to handle.  Every time I come to an item for "Leben alone" (his wheelchair, stroller, meds, etc.), the only thought that comes into my head is that how much I would easily tradeoff removing these things from the list just to have him with us on this trip.

Since Leben was put down, I have spent my time exclusively with Erde, except for a daily visit to my gym.  Last night I went to a party on the roof deck that adjourns my condo unit.  After being gone for an hour or so, I returned to my unit to check up on Erde and to give her some of the food suitable for her from the party. When I walked in the door, she was there waiting for me, as she and Leben used to do all the time since they were pups.  She was facing away from the direction of the door.  Since she is partially deaf, she could not hear me enter.  As I approached her quietly, the was one thing different from all the other times the two of them waited there for me: she was softly moaning. Since her health is good, I can only attribute that to her loneliness in not having her brother here anymore. 

There are other signs that she is adjusting, slowly, to her brother's absence.  She follows me around now almost as soon as I go into another room.  Before, that was her brother's job, and she followed only long afterward.  At night, she comes into the bedroom when I go in there, and jumps up on Leben's bed.  My heart is still broken for Leben, but it is also broken for Erde because her loss is much, much greater than mine.  I do feel, however, that she and I are starting to bond completely for the first time.  This is a new experience for me since Kessie, Sonntag's sister, came to live with us only after four years, after I had already bonded with Sonntag, and died almost two years before Sonntag did. I pray that I do not make any mistakes with this magnificent dog in the remaining months of her life.

Hopefully, I will finish the packing today.  I still have a lot of desk-work to do, and will probably have to run few errands.  As usual, I will not leave until I am 100 percent ready to go, which could be tomorrow, but it will have to be Thursday if my new credit-card does not arrive today. I will then try to make some time on the road so I can get beyond Ontario and head toward the Canadian Rockies before the snows hit there, as they usually do around mid-September. From there, I will decide where to go next, although Vancouver Island and then home via San Francisco is a possibility.

ED

Our To-Take list: